The idea of death had not been something that worried me until relatively recently. I was sitting in a church pew when my mind wandered and tried to envision death. All I saw was black and panicked. This moment was impactful for many reasons but mainly brought forth stressors that have seemingly been hiding in my brain this whole time. These events were rooted in childhood events that have manifested themselves as fears of death but now I had no way of comforting myself from them. While researching the representation of bees in death during a class I stumbled upon the celtic folklore and death tradition of “telling the bees'. This is when a beekeeper passes away their bees must be informed by a short poem and then covered with a black crepe in order for the bees to grieve properly because otherwise they could become sick, flee the hive, or even sometimes die. This connected with me since my grandfather, Clarence was a beekeeper and is one of the reasons I am the person I am today and his passing hit deep. So, with the fear of death looming over me and this newfound information I decided to create my own comfort in death by connecting with the spirituality of nature and bees with my grandpa as a welcoming figure into the afterlife. These photographs are a visual manifestation of my journey with my fear of death and “telling the bees” to find some comfort in what is to inevitably come.
